Soak Up the Good
Finding Small Moments of Joy This Summer
The month of June brings longer days, warm weather, and more opportunities to spend outside with friends and family. Summer reminds us to pause and slow down but it doesn’t take away all the stress and busyness.
Did you know that human brains are naturally wired to focus on problems and negative experiences? This phenomenon historically served as a protective mechanism, allowing us to thwart potential threats. In modern day terms, it means replaying that one criticism over and over in your mind but forgetting the positive feedback or a compliment. It can be focusing on that one mistake you made at work instead of recognizing daily progress and achievements. Social psychologists have found that humans assign more emotional weight to losses rather than to gains. This can lead to anxiety and depression and can affect relationships between friends, coworkers, and loved ones.
So how can we change this natural tendency? We disrupt those repeated negative thoughts through intentional mental habits. Habits become more natural the more we practice them. And every day can give us new opportunities to see the good and be the good.
Shift your attention. At the end of every day, instead of allowing yourself to dwell on the bad, list out what went well. Reflect on the interactions that happened that day. Did you laugh? What made you smile?
Make a habit of gratitude. Who are the people in your life that shape who you are or who you want to become? What are you thankful for? Gratitude doesn’t exist only in the big stuff but also in tiny small moments, like the sun on a warm day, a meme that made you giggle, or finding delicious new lunch spot.
Turn negative thoughts into positive action. If you aren’t happy with something that went wrong, how can you prevent it from happening again? Are there negative relationships you can back away from and are there positive ones you can cultivate and nurture?
Reframe the experience. If you make a mistake, see it as a chance to improve instead of a failure. If someone cancels plans with you, see it as an evening to rest instead of rejection. If you have an encounter with a rude or difficult person, see their behavior as a reflection of their own stress instead of letting it ruin your day. When you feel like there is a roadblock in your life and it seems impossible, see it as a challenge that will help you grow.
Soak up the good. Every day, make it a habit to notice the smallest of things that bring your joy. Stop and focus on it for 15 to 30 seconds. Absorb it and let it sink into your mind and body. Share it with others.
Shout it from the rooftops. Write about it. If someone compliments you, tell them how much it meant to you. If you find something funny, allow yourself to laugh freely. Sometimes you have to really LOOK for the good, but when you see it, everything begins to change.
If you can’t find the good, that’s ok too. But you don’t have to carry it alone. As always, we are here for you. Let us help you find a counselor with that empathetic ear to listen and help. Call the 988 crisis line if life feels too heavy to handle. You are worth it.
