A Moment of Crisis, A Lifetime of Gratitude
“As I think back on the events of last winter,, I feel so very grateful for the Mental Health First Aid training I received. Please allow me to share why.”
A friend had experienced a serious fall and one of his children had come to stay with him after he returned from the hospital and rehab center. Prior to his fall, this person walked several times daily with his beloved dog and was an active member of our community.
When I’d last visited, he shared his frustration at the lack of answers for the dizziness he continued to experience. We are a small close-knit group of friends and a few of us could see a steady decline. He also stopped responding to our e-mails.
On this afternoon, I had returned home from running errands and saw my friend’s son standing in his dad’s driveway. I greeted him as usual, asking how his dad was doing. He explained that when he’d arrived to pick his dad up for an appointment, his dad met him in the driveway in his wheelchair, very agitated and said he wasn’t going to go to any more appointments.
He told his son not to follow him and began moving down the street along his old walking route. I immediately felt something was terribly wrong and I suggested that he call 9-1-1. This was not my friend’s typical behavior. Even when he’d seemed a little down, I could always get a smile and make him laugh.
I took off to find him, asking my son to help me. We decided to head in two different directions toward where we felt he’d gone.
I didn’t know what condition I’d find my neighbor in, but as I hurried along, I kept thinking about what I’d learned in class. A-L-G-E-E, the 5-step action plan for providing mental health first aid kept running through my head. I told myself that I needed to approach calmly; listen without judgement; give support and encouragement.
As I turned the corner, I saw my neighbor sitting in a wheelchair about a block away. I saw my son approaching from the other direction, but I arrived at my friend’s side first. He was sitting very calmly with his hands in his lap. I remember noticing that he looked exhausted.
My son and I looked down at his hands at the same moment, seeing that he was holding a gun, and the trigger was cocked.
We began speaking quietly and calmly with him and listened as he explained that he was done and things were not going to get better. He felt he was out of options. He showed us the gun and we asked him if he had a plan to harm himself. He answered yes.
My son asked if he would uncock the trigger and he agreed. We asked him if it would be okay with him if we called some mental health professionals who could help find options; and, although he felt they’d have no real answers for him, he agreed to try.
My son called 988, the Suicide Prevention Hotline and helped get the conversation started. We told him we’d stay right there with him and that we loved him and wanted to help him.
I held his hand and my son put his hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
Not long after, police officers trained in Mental Health First Aid arrived. The gun was handed over and they began quietly talking and listening. Soon, the rescue squad arrived and my friend’s family. They had no idea he’d taken a gun with him or that he meant to do harm to himself.
In the weeks that have passed, this is still so surreal to me. In hindsight, I can see the decline in his physical health and can recall things he said that I now know were indicators of deepening depression. I simply wouldn’t have known how to handle this mental health crisis without the training I received.
This training allowed me to trust my instinct that something wasn’t right and react quickly; find my friend, and then use the strategies I learned in Mental Health First Aid training.
Although my friend passed away peacefully not long after, he was surrounded by a family grateful to have the gift of additional days with him.
Photos are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent any individuals depicted in this story.
To sign up for Mental Health First Aid, visit the “events” tab or fill out for the interest form to be notified about future trainings.
